At times, life is stressful. There are always things that happen in a way that we don’t expect. It’s kind of funny that when an unexpected good thing happens we are happy– carefree even. But when that unexpected thing is bad, the stress immediately begins.
This time of year, especially, there can be a lot of things to feel stressed about. I am not going to lie; I am an A Type personality. I like everything to be neat and organized, and going the way I want it to go. I have been known to get more than a little cranky about unpleasant surprises.
Over the years, I have learned strategies to minimize those negative surprises like planning ahead, and being better organized. I had to learn to keep calm when my daughter was watching, do a quick analysis of the situation, and find some solace to hang on to.
Of course, not everything that happened was devastating; some things were just really aggravating and inconvenient. But overreacting to a situation was not something that I wanted my daughter to learn. I just can’t stand drama.
I have learned some pretty good stress reduction techniques, but they only go so far. Along with those techniques, I made conscious decisions to let go of what was bothering me. That is really effective when I can pull it off.
I think most people fear becoming like their parents. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of positive things that we can emulate about our parents. It’s those wacky idiosyncrasies that I am talking about. I bet you know what I mean. People get weird as they age!
My mom is a worrier. She is high strung, just like her dad was. In the past few years, I have noticed an ever-present tension rising up in me. I have tried to figure out where exactly it is coming from, but I haven’t really been able to put my finger on it. It makes the ordinary stresses of money, relationships, and kids extra hard to deal with.
This underlying tension has started causing physical problems that I have been treating as holistically as I can. It’s manifested as pain in my back and other areas, kidney problems, skin blemishes and extremely dry, irritated skin; sleep disruptions; running out of energy before the end of the day; and ringing in my ears.
One problem would plague me for a while and then disappear only to be replaced by something else. I knew they were caused by stress, but when my husband would ask me what I was stressed about, I didn’t always know.
Well, just this last week some things got revealed to me. I was feeling particularly stressed about tying up some things before the end of the year. I felt like I was pinned in a corner trying to fight my way out.
I have been praying a lot about these concerns. God would give me a ray of hope, or a deep sense of peace that would last until I got myself spun up again. After much prayer, I knew that I had to stop worrying and just focus on what I could see was the next thing that needed to be done.
This was how I handled the tough times when I was in my twenties. It served me well then, and I knew it would serve me well now. It can be difficult to keep the faith every hour of every day, believing that my prayers for help and guidance will be answered. I keep reminding myself that God has always looked out for me, although his best interest for me didn’t always look like what I thought was my best interest. And so it goes with children and their parents.
Almost immediately after I had this revelation, the tension in my body began to lessen and my physical problems began and continue to improve. I still have to monitor myself but relaxing is getting easier and lasting longer.
What really made the difference between managing stress and avoiding stressing myself out was surrender. Surrender takes the focus off of the problem, and places it on the solution. It sounds subtitle, but it actually makes space for God to work.
Have you ever known someone who was always asking for advice, but would never take any no matter how sound it was? The solution could be so clear to you but they refused to even consider it; that’s crazy making. In a way, it’s kind of like the commercials for the selling service called “Let Go”; just how long are you going to drag around that which does not serve you anymore?
Surrender comes when you know that you absolutely cannot continue on stressing yourself out, and you decide to let God handle things, through much prayer and supplication. Surrender does not remove your problems or responsibilities but allows you to accept good advice and God’s direction, and focus your energies there. It’s a shame that my surrender comes when all other options are exhausted; I am as stubborn as the next person.
I wanted to share this deeply personal experience with you because many people are having a hard time coping this time of year; even those of us who are supposed to know better. The great thing about being in a community is the encouragement that we receive from each other. I am grateful that you all are in my community. Let’s continue to encourage and help one another.
Have a great weekend and a beautiful next week.
Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?
